In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful
Islamic circle of North America (Sister’s Wing)
The Ideal Muslimah
اسلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركته
A Muslimah is like a diamond – multifaceted. All the different cuts are what make a diamond beautiful as it sparkles. A Muslim woman is not one dimensional but rather made up of many different roles and a flaw in even one will be seen by the sharp eye of Allah as a jeweler can see the flaw in a diamond. She cannot have only one role in her life: mother, daughter, wife, neighbor, daiee, teacher, servant of Allah, part of society, student, possibly working full time as well- these maybe only some of the many roles she has to fulfill. She has to juggle all these; and that is what makes her so precious. She needs to be ready to multitask and take on every trial life throws at her. She cannot fall apart. The ideal Muslimah is ready to take on everything with confidence and patience. A Muslimah cannot fulfill one role at a time but must take head on all the roles thrown at her with grace, faith in Allah and patience. Islam needs her. Of course Allah does not need us – we need Him. Of course the true essence of Islam does not need us; however various factors have destroyed the pure practiced religion and way of life of Islam in this day so it is necessary for all sisters to help fix our ummah. We cannot wait until our dear Muslimahs retire from work, or their children grow up. There is too much that needs to be done and it cannot wait.
Lo! Men who surrender unto Allah, and women who surrender, and men who believe and women who believe, and men who obey and women who obey, and men who speak the truth and women who speak the truth, and men who persevere in righteousness and women who persevere, and men who are humble and women who are humble and men who give alms and women who give alms, and men who fast and women who fast, and men who guard their modesty and women who guard their modesty, and men who remember Allah much and women who remember-Allah hath prepared for them forgiveness and a vast reward.
Dear Sisters, obedience to Allah is our first priority. The Quran tells us about the honored Mariam:
And Mariam, daughter of Imran, whose body was chaste,
Therefore We breathed therein something of Our Spirit.
And she put faith in the words of her Lord and His
Scriptures, and was of the obedient. (At-Tahrim, 12).
By making sure obedience to Allah is our first priority, it will help define which roles we are allowed to take on. Obedience to Allah keeps us in check so we don’t stray and take upon roles we are not supposed to. For these we need to consistently keep our focus on our ultimate goal: the hereafter.
And Allah cited an example for those who believe: the wife of Pharaoh
when she said: “My lord! Build for me a home with thee in the Garden,
and deliver me from Pharaoh and his work and deliver me from evildoing folk”
We, as Muslimahs, need to focus on prioritizing our life. Without prioritizing and organizing, we will not be able to properly fulfill all our duties towards Allah, our self, family or society. We need to always remember the importance of time.
By the declining day. Lo! Man is in a state of loss, save those who believe
and do good works and exhort one another to truth exhort one another to
endurance. (Al-Asr, 1-3)
Dear Sisters, we know life is not easy. A Muslimah realizes that she was put here to bear burdens as she fulfills Allah’s role for her to be a witness to mankind. A Muslimah realizes that Allah will only give her as much as she can handle and knows to turn to Him alone for strength.
Allah tasketh not a soul beyond its scope. For it (is only) that which it hath earned, and against it (only) that which it hath deserved. Our Lord! Condemn us not if we forget, or miss the mark! Our Lord! Lay not on us such a burden as thou didst lay on those before us! Our Lord! Impose not on us that which we have not the strength to bear! Pardon us, absolve us and have mercy on us! Thou, our Protector, and give us victory over the disbelieving folk. (Al-Baqarah, 286)
And it becometh not a believing man or a believing woman, when Allah and His messenger have decided and affair (for them) that they should (after that) claim any say in their affair; and whoso is rebellious to Allah and His messenger, he verily goeth astray in error manifest. (Al-Ahzab 36).
Sisters we must feel good about ourselves, and be confident. We are not talking about pride, but self esteem, self worth. We must realizes our importance: she was created by the supreme therefore is worth something, and must take care of her body, mind and spirit as it was a gift from Allah. Neglecting herself is neglecting Allah’s creation.
A Muslimah must fulfill her rights as a wife. It is so easy to forget the ayah that compares a spouse to a garment. We must not only protect our husband’s weaknesses from the world, as clothing protects our vulnerable body from all the weather extremes, but actually complement his strengths and weaknesses. In other words, we should make up for his weakness without anyone realizing his deficiency and inshallah he can do the same for us.
A Muslimah must realize the responsibility of being a good role model for her children in values and actions. Our children are the future and will learn not only from what we say but what we do. Bringing up our children properly is very important.
A Muslimah is an ambassador for Islam. We cannot let our frustrations out on our neighbors or other members in the community. While driving to a halaqas, we cannot cut off a driver impatiently because we are late. The other driver may come to the wrong conclusion that “all Muslims are inconsiderate drivers.” Yes Muslimahs are carrying a heavy weight. As famous athletes and movie stars are scrutinized by the media, Muslimahs are scrutinized for dressing and acting different. It is part of the bargain we made with Allah.
Since diamonds are precious, they are safeguarded so they are not stolen or damaged. Similarly, a Muslimah is a very valuable asset to the community and must be safeguarded. We can protect ourselves by being modest and not placing our self in dangerous situations, as no one would intentionally leave a diamond out in the open for anyone to take.
And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest and
to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to
draw their veils over their bosoms, and not to reveal their adornment
save to their own husbands or fathers or husbands fathers or their
sons or their husband’s sons or their brothers or their brother’s sons
or sisters sons or their women or their slaves or male attendants
who lack vigor or children who know naught of women’s nakedness.
And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their
adornment. And turn unto Allah together, O believers in order that ye
(An Nur, 31).
We should consciously make an effort to only keep company with righteous people. “O ye who believe! Be careful of your duty to Allah, and be with the truthful.(At-Taubah, 119).(insert hadith about how friend’s personalities rub off on us as musk merchant vs. black smith). Inshallah, our good friends will protect us from gossiping, missing our salah, wasting time, etc.
Volumes of books have been written on the subject of women. I hope we all agree that to be a good woman, we must be ideal Muslimahs. Inshallah by following the Quran and Sunnah to the strictest degree, we can all come closer to attaining that ideal. Please remember that these are only few of many pointers on being good Muslimahs, and we need to be constantly reminded of these.